All posts filed under: Dating

Loving Amidst the Wildness

A few years ago, if you’d asked me about the kind of love I dreamed about, I’d have told you about a love that was all-consuming. The kind that shattered the world I inhabited. “We will be very passionate,” I’d say to you, describing the dynamic my soulmate and I would share, “Our connection will intersect on multiple levels — physical, intellectual, and spiritual. He will be deep and wild, and the love we share will change me.” I found exactly that with Andy. Our connection was intense. Emily Bronte once wrote, “Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same,” and in our way of relating, I saw that play out. A romantic fling-turned-best friend, Finn, told me last month that I was the wildest girl he’s ever known. “Not in the personality sense that people often think of, but you have a wild spirit,” he said, “There’s a restlessness you have that seems to often threaten to overtake you.” He summed it up by labeling it a “quiet wildness,” yet all I could …

Helping my Boyfriend Guard his Purity

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Proverbs 4:23 NIV There recently came a point when I started to ask God His plans for my love life. I told God how I was open to meeting someone within His perfect timing and really placed these desires at His feet and told Him, “Lord, I trust you to complete that which concerns me and bring about what’s perfect for me.” It wasn’t long before he brought me my boyfriend. I’m pretty lucky: Matt’s handsome, smart, thoughtful, hardworking, and initiates time for us to seek the Lord together. One thing I never allow myself to forget is that before my boyfriend, he is first and foremost my brother in Christ.  “Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.” 1 Timothy 5:1–2 This means that I’m supposed to be his partner in this crazy, fallen world we live …

Home is a “Who”, Not a “Where”

“You haven’t held me in ages, but I still know what you feel like,” my conviction stood tall and strong; it was unshakable. He threw back a flirtatious challenge in response, “Oh, really? So tell me. Leave nothing out.” I could imagine his smile through the phone and it made think of those repressed schoolboys. I took a deep breath, “You feel like all of the best things. You’re Rilke poetry, glasses of chilled vodka (the good brand, of course), Etsy candles, and ruby-red borscht simmering away on the stove. You feel like love letters sent through air mail and wooden floorboards that feel familiar to bare feet and the very last slice of my favorite pie,” I paused and then concluded, “You feel like home.” *** At the age of eighteen, I stuffed my favorite possessions into bleached-white boxes and started the drive up North to a small women’s college in the suburbs of Philly. I moved into a small dorm room and the light filtered through the window-panes into the diamond-shaped cube of …

Brothers Speak: The Person You Date Represents You

Last night, I skyped with my friend (and our founder), Nina, and she said something that stuck out to me, “Who we date says a lot about us and where God falls on our list of priorities.” In my first year of college, at the age of nineteen, I started dating my second girlfriend, *Becca. Becca was smart, fun, and worshipped at the same church. We were also in the same campus bible study where I could tell that we had chemistry. All systems pointed to “Go.” But here’s where things got tricky with Becca. Becca disagreed with me about even the most basic aspects of following Christ. I took the lead spiritually and initiated the purity talk where I told her about my commitment to save myself for my future wife. She respected that and never tried to pressure me. But to be honest, she wasn’t on the same page and if it weren’t up to me, we would have been having sex. Also, even though she went to church and we got to …